Really? He’s in charge?

I found this rant in my drafts folder, written in mid-2016. Guess I should have posted it earlier.

(“if a picture paints a thousand words…”)

Ladies, Donald Trump is every asshole you’ve ever met.

The privileged, cocky frat guy who spiked your punch with Everclear in college, the sexist boss who tells you that you’re more productive wearing pencil skirts, the guy who asks all the questions after a speaker is done, the guy who cuts in front of you at Starbucks, the neighbor kid who sets off fireworks at 5am (3 weeks after the 4th of July), the head of HR who’s secretly a dick, the head of product marketing who’s blatantly a dick, the guy who parks in the 30 minute zone all day, the construction guy who says “ayyy, mamacita!” when you walk by, even though you’re 45, the guy who works at the bookstore who asks you if you’ve gained weight, the asshole who broke your best friend’s heart in college, the bigger asshole who broke YOUR heart in college (god forbid they’re the same asshole), ┬áthe swim coach who didn’t put you in the finals, despite a slightly better time in your 50m freestyle, the Comcast guy who installs your wireless network with way too much proud detail, the snarky guy at Thursday night karaoke who is weirdly attached to performing “You Can’t Touch This.”

In short, AVOID HIM. And for the love of God, do not put him in charge.